Holy Carp.

Somehow, the Brown/Trinity MFA in directing consortium decided it would be a fabulous idea to allow prospective students to read the resumes in full of the current MFA class. I don't think I can wait 10 years to go to grad school, and I'm pretty sure no one would hire me for the 35 professional directing gigs that these people somehow weaseled their way into. Also I'm not sure if there's time to be the Artistic Assistant at Steppenwolf and become a Suzuki expert and member of SSDA and AGMA.

I have really just gotten to a point where I want to go back to school. So it's probably time to start studying up for the GREs and hoping that my midling GPA does not keep me out of anyplace worth going to.

I had a chat with myself the other day about sticking with dramaturgy, as that seems to be what fate wants me to do and what most people will pay me a decent wage to do. It also makes my brain a lot less insane and my eyes a lot less baggy ... but am I "passionate" about it? Some aspects, yes, but I haven't been a student of it for long enough to be able to know if an intense study of say, Brecht, it worth it for the sake of said intense study, or only for the purpose of improving my own small attempts at producing him.

And as for teaching ... well ... who the fuck knows if I would be any good at that? I certainly have no desire to teach "kids" under 18, and the teachers that most inspired me -- well, I can't really put them into perspective -- it was like they were my servants of learning or something, particularly in early college and high school. I didn't really care what they did outside of the classroom, as long as they facilitated a rewarding learning experience for me. Because I do like learning. So that's convenient at least, when thinking about school, right?